The Things Mothers Do

I am up late because Katrina is running a fever. Not a really bad one, mind you, but enough to wake her up every few hours.

Ahh, just like the good ol' days.

I just put her back down and have been thinking about what has happened this past year. So many changes, so little time to digest it all. I try to think back and remember those five little days between high school graduation and Coast Guard boot camp and I ask myself, "If this where I saw my life going?"

Yes and no.

I certainly saw myself as having been either a Yeoman or a Public Affairs Specialist. Hey, I've been both! I also saw myself making the Coast Guard a career and not leaving with anything less than a lieutenancy under my belt.

I certainly did not see myself as divorced.

But rather than dwell on that, I look back on Katrina and how she's fared through it all. To recap (since it was originally in my last blog), Katrina got off to a very rough start in her life. She needed extensive therapy to recover from a few horrible things. Seven different physical therapists, special educational instructors and two hours of tutoring each night after work later, in three months she went from functioning as a 16-month old even though she was just three months shy of being three, to being THREE. (How confusing is that sentence? Yeach. Remember: separate the meat from the bone!) She was recently re-evaluated in preparation to move her into the Pre-K portion of the program, but the educators tell me she is now equal to, or beyond her peers in most areas so she will not continue. It is like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders...where I had failed before I succeeded in now.

I have often asked myself why didn't I get out of my situation sooner and I cannot honestly answer that with any certainty. Fear? Most likely. But even though I still peak inside the door to my apartment building before I enter, I am learning to live without that fear.

I was working on an intensive art piece to celebrate this momentous occasion, taking it slow and working on it over several days between my Christmas commissions. It has a lot of meaning for me, especially since I've done a lot of praying on the rosary since July 10 of last year.

A friend of mine recently did me more honor then I think he realizes, and I hadn't quite known how to react until I finished the art piece. "Queen Mother" is not a title I ever expected, even in jest, as I revere those words to only one Mother who ever walked this earth. But he couldn't possibly have known that. So this piece is also a thank you to him.

http://www.geocities.com/popcorn.universe/art1.html